After more than 132,100 visits as of October 23, 2026, no further correspondence is planned for this "Deep" blog dialog at this time.
This final eloquent summary from the questioner remains for inspiration:
Questioner
I have been considering what is something unique about our friendship that's hard to find?
We discuss without debating.
You probably have more experiences (positive and negative) than I do on this, but I've come to realize many people who say they want stimulating intellectual discussion actually just want to argue and convince you they're right. Their goal is to debate rather than discuss. Their goal is to be understood, not to understand you. There's a time and a place for debate, but for it to be the core of a friendship sounds draining, not energizing.
Our discussions don't ever demand a "resolution" in which one person has to concede that the other is "right", and I don't feel either of us ever try to convince the other to change their opinion. Many of my opinions and perspectives have changed because of you, but not because that was your goal or my prize for defeat. My opinions and perspectives have changed because my goal in asking questions has always been to understand you, and your goal in answering has always been to be understood and to understand me, not to be "right". I suppose that makes a shift in perspective unavoidable. To understand and be understood in the same moment is to be changed.
Our ongoing discussions feel a bit like traveling and, at each stop, asking you what you see out the window. You describe everything you see, and sometimes, it's not what I see. You spy a rabbit in the bush, while I don't. My urge isn't to argue with you that there isn't a rabbit there, and your urge isn't to argue with me that there most certainly IS and that if I can't see it, I'm just blind. Now you know why the analogy is funny. You would be correct in your accusation. LOL. In any case, the reward in listening to you, and sharing my own description, is not in finding we agree on every single thing we see out the window. The reward is in understanding how you interpret what you see and focus on, because it reveals what matters most to you in the picture.
1.2026
1 comment:
It's time to finally comment while I have my morning coffee instead of lurking like usual. I'm an old man turning 81 this year. I spend too much time on the internet. I guess that's what you do when you're this age. Learning new things is supposed to help you keep your marbles for longer. I like every subject except religion. It's full of hypocrites and fantasies and privileged people who never suffered a day in their life. God only loves the healthy wealthy people I guess. I typed most of what I hated about christianity into google and the rabbit hole of google page I don't know what number led me here. It ruined my life in the best way. I've been reading for several months and check for an update every day. I don't know how much blogger spot lets you write in a comment. I'm not articulate enough to make use of unlimited characters anyway. I've been confronted with a young lady who has obviously suffered deeply. Unfairly. Tragically. Someone who I've gathered might be fifty or so years younger than me which is really hard to comprehend. How someone so far from being healthy and wealthy came to believe in god made me confused, sad, happy and at this point ... proud... If Jim is the other person in the discussion, you must be very proud too... Everything I hated about christianity was laid out without being dressed up as something it isn't. Sometimes it's ugly and sometimes it's beautiful. I like that you don't put a bow on the ugly parts and call them pretty. This young lady's commitment to christ was no doubt helped by your tender thought and devotion to answering her questions. Meeting you might be her only stroke of good luck to date but what a wicked intelligent and funny banter of respect you two share. Thanks for sharing it with me, a new christian.
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