There is surprisingly little in the Bible about homosexuality. I think this is interesting in light of how vocal Christians have become on the subject. Perhaps it is in response to the increasing clamor of gay and lesbian groups for recognition in the mainstream of American society.
I find only seven places in the Bible where the concept of homosexuality is mentioned. None of the Bible references has anything positive to say about homosexuality. These verses pretty much say that homosexuality is a sin that is strongly offensive to God. I can briefly summarize each passage. These verses are:
Genesis 19:5. Lot lives in Sodom where homosexuality among men has become popular. He is visited by two angels. Amazingly, many men of the city show up at Lot’s house requesting a chance to have gay sex with the two new strangers. Lot calls the idea “wicked” and offers the men either of his two virgin daughters instead (nice touch). Luckily, they decline, the angels strike the crowd blind, and Lot and his family eventually escape the city (though his wife looks back against the angels’ warning and turns to salt). The city of Sodom is destroyed by God, apparently in particular because of the people’s homosexual practices.
Deuteronomy 22:5. This passage specifically warns the Jews that God does not want them to practice transvestitism (the wearing of clothes appropriate to the opposite sex). I have to point out that the next few verses are Jewish laws that we ignore, like what is lawful to eat if you find a bird’s nest, not to wear wool and linen woven together, and the commandment to make tassels on the four corners of cloaks.
Judges 19:22-23. This is a very disturbing story. An unidentified Levite man picks a woman to be his concubine (one of multiple wives, OK in Bible times). She is unfaithful and leaves him. He later returns to get her and travels with her to Shiloh. They get stuck in a city called Gibeah where they spend the night. Some “wicked men” of the city pound on the door of the house in which they are staying and demand that the Levite man come out for homosexual sex. The host says this would be “vile” and “disgraceful”, and instead (get this) sends out his own virgin daughter together with the Levite’s concubine. The crowd of men abuse and torture the concubine all night. She falls dead in the doorway. The Levite takes the body and when he arrives home he dismembers it and sends the pieces to all 12 areas of Israel as a demonstration of his disgust.
Romans 1:27. Here Paul teaches that in their sin, men have rejected God in every way. Historically God responded by giving men what they wanted, freedom to indulge in every kind of sin. “Because of this God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion”. This verse is usually taken as a clear statement by Paul that both lesbians and gay males are living a sinful lifestyle.
1 Corinthians 6:9. Paul here teaches that people who willfully continue in certain “sinful” practices will not inherit the kingdom of God (i.e. will not go to heaven). However people who used to do these things but subsequently repent (i.e. stop and turn to God), can be saved in Christ. Among the things on the sin list are greed, drunkenness, slandering, cheating, prostitution, sexual immorality, adultery (i.e. sex outside of marriage) and homosexuality. This is an interesting list. Because the Bible is clear that anyone who repents of sin and accepts Christ’s death as payment for his sin is reconciled to God (in spite of what they have done), this verse must focus on people who refuse to repent of these sins and go on practicing them boldly.
2 Peter 2:10. Peter writes that God will punish those who continue to “follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature”. Many Bible commentators believe the context (the passage follows a historical note on the destruction of Sodom for homosexual practice) indicates that homosexuality is the subject.
Jude 8. Jude writes that evil men, like those in Sodom, pollute their own bodies. The context suggests homosexuality is the subject.
So what is the bottom line when faced with a family member who professes new-found homosexuality? I haven’t faced this, but know people who have. It seems to me that there are three options.
1. Be judgmental. Reject the family member on the basis that the Bible clearly teaches that homosexuality is a kind of sin, and you can’t tolerate this kind of sin in your family. The offender (and their homosexual partner) must be isolated from the family both as an example, and to prove that the family has higher standards. Pray for the family member to quit their wickedness. Several of the Bible verses above can be cited to defend this position.
2. Be totally accepting. Don’t worry about the Bible verses condemning homosexuality since they were written long ago before it was accepted that many people have no choice about their sexuality. Don’t risk offending the family member, so include them and their friends with the full blessings of your family. Pray for the family member to find happiness in their gay lifestyle. Try to avoid the subject of homosexuality, and keep your spiritual beliefs to yourself.
3. Major on the majors. This is what I recommend. It’s my opinion that homosexuality is a sin. It is a sin just like all the sins we fall into—like cheating, lying, failing to love our neighbor, lusting after sexual images, wanting more money, and creating false gods in our lives. I don’t personally believe that God grades levels of sin, or that homosexuality is “worse” that any other sin. The Bible does warn that the practice of any sin is proof that we are imperfect beings, separated from God by our innate evil characteristics. The Bible teaches that none of us will ever get to heaven or win favor with God based on trying to be good, avoiding evil, giving to the poor, church attendance, baptism, etc. We’re hopelessly separated from God by sin, whether we’re gay or straight, rich or poor, “religious” or not. Option 3 says focus on the need to bring every family member to the point where they understand that God sent Jesus to the earth to be a perfect sacrifice to pay the penalty that each of us otherwise deserves for our sin—i.e. eternal separation from God. Christ’s death paid the debt we can never pay. Only by admitting our sins, repenting (turning away from our sins), and accepting that Christ’s death is the only path to God, can we be reconciled and assured of acceptance into heaven.
This reconciliation to God through Jesus Christ is much more important than judging somebody’s lifestyle, since without God’s Spirit living in us, it’s hard to expect us to sense what are God’s preferences for moral values. Only after a person accepts Christ as their savior would I expect them to be given God’s power to face very hard lifestyle changes—like turning from alcoholism, addiction to pornography, constantly wishing for someone else’s life, or homosexuality.
How does one live out option 3 in practice? I’ve never tried with a homosexual family member, but here is how I imagine it would go. Keep loving the person and expressing your love more and more. Accept them just as God does—after all Jesus died for them just like he did for you. Welcome homosexual partners as well, just as Christ associated with many of the least “moral” people of his day. On the other hand, make it clear in a cheerful conversation that you intend to support and love the family member in spite of the fact that you believe their lifestyle to be displeasing to God. The analogy with alcoholism is perhaps useful. We would love a family member even if they had the disease of alcoholism, but would work toward them seeing this as a natural trait to be overcome, not encouraged. I would spend most of my effort in prayer for the salvation (reconciliation to God) of the family member, and particularly take opportunities to share the gospel message with them so that they might fully understand their need (like anyone else) to be born again through faith in Jesus.
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