Some may know that I have been living with a form of cancer called malignant paraganglioma. My first abdominal surgery, radiation and chemotherapy were 33 years ago. Upon moving to Rochester 13 years ago it was discovered that the tumor had recurred and spread as metastases to the bones of my skull and pelvis. Radiation therapy and more surgery followed. It was the warm embrace of the people of Autumn Ridge Church in 1995 that brought the peace of Christ to our young family during this terrifying time.
Without pain, the cancer continues to slowly show up in my skeleton as revealed by annual scans. This fall it became necessary to treat one of the sites of tumor growth in my hip. This involved 7 weeks of daily radiation therapy. There was no pain, but plenty of discomfort (and self-pity) associated with intestinal upset due to internal radiation damage.
The treatments have concluded and I want to mention a few of the reflections I shared with close friends at a celebration dinner we hosted recently.
I was reminded that when one person in a family is suffering, the whole family suffers.
The Lord showed me that, despite my own self-pity, I am surrounded by suffering people. Even during my 7 weeks of discomfort I became aware of many close friends carrying difficult burdens that made my own problems fade into insignificance. The day of my last treatment, my wife Laura learned that what appeared to be a minor skin lesion was malignant melanoma, though apparently detected early.
I became immensely thankful for the gift of music and for the wonderful family of Autumn Ridge musicians whose love and concern means more than they will every know. I found that making music provided a beautiful distraction from my self-concerns.
I learned how precious it is when one’s children have matured to the point that they no longer must be shielded from difficult realities. Our two daughters are now women whose prayers and actions comfort Laura and me.
I was reminded that suffering, even minor suffering, draws one closer to Christ and inspires authentic emotion and spiritual vision. Lyrics come alive. Tears are more frequent. Colors take on deeper hues.
I was touched by the depth of friendship and love of the people I too often take for granted. The kind words and patient actions of Tim and April Rowe meant so much 13 years ago, and so much now. As a radiotherapy supervisor in the unit where I was treated, our precious friend Mollie Baker was a constant source of joy, comfort, and good humor—a profound provision for our family.
Finally, I was reminded of the undeserved grace I have been shown in this life through God’s gift of Laura, the wife of my youth, now the wife of my middle age.
God’s grace and mercy are given in many ways, Some become particularly clear by living with cancer.
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